The Divine Function of Depression

The Divine Function of Depression

Chapter from EARTH SCHOOL, A Fresh Perspective on the Human Condition
by Moriah Marston, www.transformationaltimes.com

Why is everyone so down? Our use of anti-depressants is sky-rocketing. We think nothing of taking all kinds of “medication” for our chronic blues. We give it to our children like candy. Is this collective depression so contagious that even our children have lost their innocent joy? When depressed, we automatically assume that we need to get a prescription, as if anti-depressants were vitamin pills that provide essential nutrition for the soul. What did we do before medication became the “solution” to our problems?

Theoretically, anti-depressants put us back in balance. But they also exact a price for this chemical adjustment to the soul. They flat line our passions, and sexuality into a “manageable” reality. Supposedly, this “balancing” provides us a stable platform on which to do our inner work. However, many of us simply go from one anti-depressant to another without responding to the need of the unconscious for deep exploration. It’s easier for many professionals to simply prescribe medication rather than accompany their clients through the underworld of depression and out the other side.

Admittedly, some people who have crippling chemical imbalances really benefit from medication. But too many of us are throwing our hands up in the air in resignation that we are victims of depression and must submit to the side effects of the all-mighty drugs. Advertising and the media constantly reminds us that we can’t handle our psychic pain on our own—we need pharmaceuticals. Just take a pill and all your problems will vanish.

Only now are we beginning to see some of the harmful effects from these drugs. In the long run, what price will we have to pay for taking the edge off a process that is designed specifically to call attention to the soul? At best, anti-depressants are useful as temporary scaffolding, allowing the psyche to stabilize itself in order to begin the labor of deep inner healing, not for long-term dependency.

Regardless, we are becoming a society steeped in deep depression. What is the Divine function of this plague of blues that has swept throughout our land? Depression is not a disease, although it may be viewed as pathology. It is really a powerful energetic in the psyche designed to create a downward vortex that pulls us into ourselves, freeing up imprisoned aspects of the soul, releasing buried emotions, discovering hidden resources and embracing our inner child. Most of us experience depression at some point in our lives with symptoms of despair, lethargy, immobilization, numbness, hopelessness. Depression also expresses itself through pent-up restlessness; we pace our inner prisons like caged animals.

Yet depression contains a spiritual message—information encoded in our unconscious. What is our psyche trying to tell us? We must be detectives to follow the clues within the depression that lead us to the buried treasure at the nadir of this downward vortex.

I’m certainly not immune to depression. It has persisted since childhood. When I find myself repeatedly sighing out loud, I can feel depression pushing itself up against my efforts to deny it. When I wake up with a leaden heart, depression has infiltrated my dream world. If my body feels heavy, I know that my cells are releasing hidden pockets of depression. When I can’t remember my life’s purpose or meaning, when my inner vision seems blocked, depression has caught me by the coat-tails, broadcasting thoughts of “why bother.”

When I feel nothing but self-contempt, my depression is in full swing. When I find myself aimlessly contemplating how much I “want off” this plane, my depression is in full command.

My mother’s depression led to her suicide when I was three years old. Depression can be genetic—passed down through our karmic lineage as we reincarnate with the same souls over and over again. My mother’s death inspired my psychological work with people—a desire to open the Window of Light and Possibility to all who sit languishing in dark rooms of gloom.

Wrestling with depression, I’ve discovered that it “cooks” me for a precise amount of time and then spits me out from its bottomless darkness into a sun-drenched room in my psyche that has been just waiting for me to emerge into the light. Even as the depression walls close in, a small inner spark reminds me that there is a profound purpose to this process, as I am put in touch with pockets of pain, trauma and emptiness that my soul has carried for centuries. As I find the courage to touch these deep places with self-love and patience, the depression ceases its dark howling and the winds of despair dissipate.

I’ve learned to trust my depression. A vehicle for penetrating travel into self, it opens inner doors that appear to go nowhere but actually lead to great soul riches. I experience a profound lucidity when emerging from a depression cycle. This hard-earned insight and clarity come from the willingness to excavate the soul from its hidden dungeon of anguish. Simply my loving presence (along with the help of the Tibetan and other Divine resources) melts the veils that substantiate my despair. Depression is nothing more than denied imprisoned aspects of self that carry “life sentences”—with no hope for parole.

Depression is our way of saying NO to ourselves at the deepest level. This NO is the ultimate form of self-negation. When we believe that we are living in a loveless universe, we assume that the NO is a cosmic mandate. This generates great shame that our own Source would disown us. Contrite, we modify and debase ourselves by crawling into the depression pit to wait out our cosmic adjudication in divine disgrace.

We can’t run from our depression. It chases us everywhere. Depression is a spiritual crisis. The Depression Wall blockades our connection to the Great Flow that contains our essential birthright of possibility. The soul may sit behind that wall for lifetimes as the illusion of being cut off from divine support entrenches itself. We assume that there is nothing that awaits us that could possibly make any difference in our lives. The soul, determined to be liberated, waits for the inner landscape of bleak despair to break apart. Eventually, the Depression Wall crumbles. Until then, we can’t bypass this lifetime’s soul issues. No matter how painful, we have to surrender to depression’s alchemical effect on our psyches, trusting that we won’t have to endure its crushing strangulation of the soul forever. When locked in the depression box, energy heats up, spiking this level of darkness to a pitch that drives us to rediscover our Source.

The Tibetan, apparently impervious to depression, walks toward me singing songs of delight. He teaches:

“Humankind feels out of control as the disintegration of the old paradigm yields to the New Cosmic Day. This breakdown process stimulates feelings of helplessness and hopelessness. Humankind believes it can’t make a difference in the face of this onslaught of negative energy, which stimulates karmic memories of all past-life traumas endured with apparently no help from the higher planes. The perceived abandonment caused humankind to contract into a consciousness of icy separation, which lowered its “ceiling” (blocked crown chakra). Continuing to bump their heads against that lowered ceiling, humankind dared not stand up straight and reach for the stars.

“Over lifetimes, the bent-over gesture in the soul breaks down one’s innate alignment with the Divine and produces a profound sense of self-diminishment, because the Higher Self feels inaccessible. This generates a powerful matrix of despair that blinds the soul to the Joystream that sustains all beings. Depression roots its tendrils in the blindness. One’s current depression is the result of a long-standing depression for lifetimes. It’s time to stop this karmic legacy. Journey through the barren terrain like torch-bearing pioneers who know, deep in their hearts, that a lush, colorful world awaits them just beyond the veil.

“After much work, many students may be depression-free for months or years, only to have it return. Fearing failure, they may succumb to its obstinate message of woe—certain that there is no place to go, nothing to be done, no opportunity to pursue. Ironically, this subsequent layer of depression indicates that finally the student is accessing/ releasing even deeper soul blockages. Lifetimes of depression are surfacing to full consciousness for transmutation.

“How does one walk through the corridors of despair and not be seduced by this spiritual crisis? Depression ultimately convinces one that life is not worth living—an inversion of the spiritual force field that mandates earthly life, feeds the spirit, and applauds the boundless potential of human existence. The formidability of this inverted force field is daunting to the ego/ personality, especially as it activates all previous soul memories of disconnecting emptiness.

“When depression clamps the soul, self is right up against the portal of entry to a greater consciousness—as the vortex drives self deep inside to touch the most impenetrable inner stockades. The lowered ceiling keeps dropping to push the student to the subterranean level, where unworthiness and self-blame are housed. Depression is a useful tool for surrender. The ego’s attempt to battle it ultimately fails.

“The students MUST ask for HELP from the spiritual plane when confronting the magnetic vortex of their depression. They need enhanced light to tether themselves to the corrected force field that says YES to their being at ALL times. Please ask the Higher Self, Masters, Angelic Force, and Source Itself to be energetically LIFTED up above these darkened waters of pessimism without blocking off self’s much-needed healing interaction with these karmic wounds. It truly is “darkest before dawn.” Widespread depression is the final vortex of the separation illusion—the prelude to the dawning of the New Age. It is the last membrane of isolation or lovelessness before the soul bursts forth in full recognition of its rightful place in the Universe.

“Depression leads the students to the collective core wound of separation. Like an express train into the dark, depression relentlessly clutches self until it has reached is miserable destination—a wasteland in the collective consciousness, where all beings feel exiled from their Creator. This presents the opportunity and challenge to realize the illusion of this imprisoning exile. As more students see beyond the veil, the collective Depression Wall crumbles. At this momentous time in human history, the Divine Mandate of collective awakening requires all of humankind to pierce the shroud of separation/ lovelessness and touch its true Essence.

“As students openly share their experience of depression, they commune with each other, not in misery, but in mutual realization that depression is nothing more than an agreed-upon decision to lock self up in a deep, dark inner vault, and throw away the key. Ironically, it is impossible to throw away the key because self’s conscious awareness IS the key. Simply the intent to find that vault and BELIEVE that it can be opened, freeing all exiled parts of self with the help of the spiritual plane, immediately softens depression’s steely climate. Then the journey inward through this darkened corridor, while formidable, is not torturous punishment but rather a mysterious search for the cosmic clues that uncover the gems banked within the banned parts of the soul. Once reclaimed, the soul rejoices and depression is truly a thing of the past.

“Chronic depression is an intense attachment to non-movement. Many students in previous lives responded to their illusion of disconnect by deciding to sit tight and wait it out—spending centuries awaiting Source’s permission to emerge. But depression’s persistence is the affirming genius within. It knows that if students continue to bump up against this bleak vortex, they will eventually dare to touch its acute pain with loving inquiry. Then the giant bugaboo of soul sickness will recede through the healing touch of cherished connectedness with self, others and the Universe.

“Don’t wait behind the Depression Wall. Accept the insistency of self’s depression as a cosmic mandate to push forward into one’s inner recesses to retrieve the soul’s full essence. Though it may appear to be counter-intuitive, the willingness to move toward self’s depression with open-heartedness melts despair. Don’t push past depression. Rather, release undue attachment to external life to allow deep inward travel. This intention alone alleviates some of the depression. To avoid facing one’s depression prolongs the ride on the karmic wheel of suffering. The inescapable dominion of the soul’s glory insists that all blocks to its shining brilliance be dismantled.

‘Inevitably, humankind will be liberated from depression as it remembers its spiritual essence. As more students create shared rituals for the soul’s passages/ initiations, depression’s greatest weapon—isolation—is rendered impotent.

“Shine the light for each other! Encourage this process of welcoming back exiled parts of self to the Whole, just as Source welcomes Its children back with joyous embrace. As more students heal their depression, others will boldly defy the collective false beliefs of futility and despair. Accompany others into their dark pits of separation to remind them that disconnect is impossible. Then the collective negativity will break apart like the great arctic ice, allowing the waters of Cosmic Consciousness to flow freely, washing away all vestiges of depression into a titanic waterfall of Boundless Possibility and Joy!’

About the Author

Founder of the School of the Golden Discs, Moriah has been a channel for Djwhal Khul since 1986. As a soul mentor, Moriah includes astrology, dream analysis and past life integration in the intuitive work as a mid-wife to the soul alignment process. Moriah has a private practice in Shelburne Falls, MA and specializes in phone sessions.
Click here to visit her site!

Copyright©2006, School of the Golden Discs

Answering the Higher Call

Chapter from EARTH SCHOOL, A Fresh Perspective on the Human Condition
By Moriah Marston, http://www.transformationaltimes.com/

Lately I’ve been feeling a distinctly potent Call from the higher planes. This Call carries a sense of urgency—ethereal, vague, and undecipherable. I wonder what I’m really tuning in to. Is this just a figment of my imagination? Or is something trying to get through to me, to us? The Tibetan urged me to write about the Call this month, interrupting our usual conversation with “Call waiting” from the Masters, trying to get our fully conscious attention.
How many of us feel a Call from the higher planes? Do we know how to respond to it? Is it discounted as simply mindless imagination? Are we embarrassed to admit that we may be electronically connected to higher frequencies that spark the synapses in our brain, hooked to some primal code established eons ago, to fire up just when the planet/ universe needs our attention? When we live according to a sense of calling, we can be more sensitive to the Great Call when it is issued. When we live with blinders on, mechanistically moving through our days, it is harder to hear/ receive larger messages from the universe. If we ever needed to pay attention, now is the time. With humanity seemingly out of control, everyone teetering on the edge, we need to be as tuned in as possible.
Many of my clients are feeling the pressure of these auspicious times. They intuit that something much larger is being asked of them. Eager to be of help, to ward off/ neutralize this awful feeling of collective impotence, we strain to decipher the Call that most of us can only vaguely register in the pit of the stomach, through a strange buzzing in the head or from a feeling of restless imminence.
Trying to decode this amorphous Call, I recognize the message: We must become very clear on our unique soul’s purpose NOW. Opening to our sense of elevated purpose magnetizes the greater Self within to come out into this world, representing our soul’s highest energetic capacity. The Call exclaims, “There is a great birth occurring.” We must gather around, supporting each other, joining forces to act as anchors/ acupuncture needles/ magnets for the Higher Forces to assist this stupendous transition. If we can embody our magnitude, our soul’s magnificence, the alchemical balance in this world will dramatically shift to the good.
Terrorists are often trained and then put on hold for years until the day they are given the orders to destroy. We, too, have been trained and put on hold for years—to heal, strengthen, gather wisdom, enjoy earthly life—until we are given the Call. Now is the time—not for destruction, but for CREATION. The Call impresses on me that we must leave the old paradigm, obsolete patterns filled with stagnant energy that left us dry, blank, dead. We must evolve beyond the dulling resignation of defeatedly accepting whatever life presents us. Collectively, we are being asked to set aside our smaller concerns, not repressing them but rather expanding, daring to include and embody our potentiated Self. We must challenge ourselves to open our minds to the Horizon of the Original—where all new inventions, breakthroughs and whirling dervishes of revolution, reside—to carry us into the new paradigm where our minds are joined as one.
Putting myself in the Tibetan's shoes, I would “call” people to claim their souls to stay awake, take the risks and do what they are really passionate about, to open their hearts to each other, to resist going numb, to challenge themselves to see their unique contribution to this current collective spiritual emergence, to be ready at all times to serve, to stop looking back at how things used to be, to speak their truth at all times, to teach others new levels of awareness, to face their shadow. But this is my sense of the Call. What is yours?
What does it mean to receive our “induction papers” from the Universe? If we receive these papers, do we consider going AWOL from the cosmic army? Do we wish to postpone our stint in “the service” and continue going numb, burrowing into complacency to wait out this horror show. I hate being told what to do. Being a rebellious Aquarius, I don’t like take orders from anyone, including the Masters! But not even my obstinate spirit can withstand the roar of cosmic marching orders as they are delivered to me through this great CALL.
Where are these induction papers sending us? What are we being called to do? What can we do? In the war between the Light and dark forces, is the real front simply within as we battle ourselves, always at odds with who we truly are?
Many of us feel hopeless in the face of world events. We don’t know whether to be politically active, to pray/meditate or simply to hope for the best. Overwhelmed by the current wave of chaotic destruction, my own powerlessness sets in when I view our world. I want to fall to my knees in despair and curse the karmic board for sending me to incarnate at a time in human history when so much seems to be going wrong.
The Tibetan urges us to recognize that we must mature, step out of the playpen, and take responsibility for every thought, feeling, and deed. Lazily we put it off—maybe next week, year or lifetime—when we are ready. There is no way to feel ready for this unprecedented collective process. Ready or not, the time has come. Selfish egos aside, we can no longer indulge insular narcissistic agendas. The Tibetan emphasizes that now is the time to “get spiritual.” Aren’t we already spiritual? I assume we must shift our focus and values to more urgent Universal demands. We must open our eyes, ears, and hearts to the CALL.
What does it mean to step up to the plate when we have no point of reference for this time in history? When we have so much power to self-destruct and yet, paradoxically, are more united in consciousness as a global village than ever before. For me, stepping up to the plate means that I can no longer hide my Light, dwell in fear, postpone karmic homework, be too tired, too lazy, or too numb, claim “I didn’t know,” or indulge in feeling lost/ unloved/ abandoned/ betrayed.
Struggling to respond to this persistent, internal, nudging Call, I wonder how to direct the pressure. Fearful of despair undermining my idealism, I hold back my passion and belief that collectively we can transform the world, and shamefully settle into mediocrity, collapsed by the inevitable “limitations” of the physical plane. It’s so easy to get distracted from the Call. I’m too busy, exhausted, confused, downright frightened, and would much rather withdraw and wait it out. My ego cautions me about sounding delusional: “There is no Great Call, whatever you think you hear, keep it to yourself. Don’t share these higher impressions/ knowings with anyone or they’ll write you off as a flaky New-Ager, some Pollyanna with her feet in the clouds.”
But at age 54, I’m old enough to know better. I have never felt more purposeful, driven and determined not to waste a minute, tenaciously holding my own feet to the coals—laboring to stay conscious and open my ears to the Call—the directives from on high instructing us how to successfully birth this “New Cosmic Day.” If we can’t freely share common impressions on what is REALLY going on here, how can we unite our force fields to transmute the dark grid of negativity devouring our world? The Call insists: Stop living at the level of ego. Stay awake and tuned in. Trust that humanity is not simply in a nightmare with a horrendous ending. Most importantly, we are being called to discover our unique gifts to this world/each other and to recognize how these gift are an integral part the emerging new consciousness being born as we walk this dangerous razor’s edge together into unified consciousness.
The Tibetan strides forward, hard-wired to my questions as they magnetize his consciousness into mine. He summons:

“CALLING all light workers, teachers, channels of love, students who dare to express their truth. The Masters ask humankind to sign a cosmic petition to end the old paradigm—to join as One. To view many names on a petition demonstrates that self is not alone. This communal awareness allows students to open their collective force field and recognize their birthright, authority, and contract to assist in ushering in the New Cosmic Day. This requires rigorous clearing, self-examination, braving the corridors of the shadow where stored on-going karmic afflictions are waiting to be touched, healed and integrated.
“Dare to embody the Light at the most potent level imagined. Then multiply this Light times 10,000. At least do that much. There is no time to be off-duty. Know that self can transform much faster than ever imagined. Whatever breakthroughs self experiences need to be communicated, shared, expressed. With full consciousness of the darkened energies surfacing for final resolution, dare to be positive. Remember that all make it to the threshold of awakening, and that the earth herself is held within a Universe of Love. Then create a plan of action. Commit to it. Start eliminating all aspects of life that are meaningless, at odds with self’s sense of purpose.
“Don’t underestimate the impact of just one student’s full ensoulment, radiant in light, on the collective consciousness. Receive the joy of being propelled by an inner force that knows exactly what self signed up to do before this incarnation. Self’s mission need not be unduly dramatic, sacrificial, overwhelming. It may be fulfilled through humble, subtle levels of contribution that are no less impactful. Ironically, it is the subtle energy that carries the Call. This subtle energy is streaming in to conduct the rarefied vibrations of the New Cosmic Day. Students are Called to refine their ears, eyes, hearts to attune to the subtle nuances of higher, refined, etheric energies. When trying to decipher a newspaper written in a foreign language, self has the opportunity to feel the energy from the words, subtly picking up the message carried within the form. Trust self’s intuition. Don’t question it to death but rather embrace this knowing with the innocence of a child trusting that the play will emerge. This trust opens portholes of perception. Soon self recognizes the meaning of the newspaper’s foreign words.
“Release pride. Ask each other for help with this experiment. Don’t allow the ego to convince you to hold on to outmoded models of learning. Humbly sit in the Mystery as it impresses the Call on your heart, igniting a soul agreement made well before this incarnation. Know that self has a uniquely important contribution to make and it must be made now! Don’t worry about self’s imperfections. Continue to improve character, thought, deed as self goes forth—the imperfect warrior of light daring to mix with all of the frailties, vulnerabilities and illusions of the human condition
“Humankind’s greatest illusions are the following: Self can’t make a difference. Self isn’t enough. Self isn’t worthy. These are all constructs that feed darkened energies, closing in their deadly grip on the earthly plane. Don’t underestimate self’s impact. It is time to consider self’s mastery. Pretend to be a Master. Go forth as if self’s spiritual life were the most important event in the Universe. Yes, continue to have the feet on the ground, deeply rooted into mother earth, while daring to IMAGINE a new world. Then do whatever self feels CALLED to do.
“Follow the pathway of least resistance, holding the channels of grace well-developed in previous lives that are now storehouses of the soul’s gifts, so that those gifts can be offered at this time for a very precise reason. Practice generosity. Share self’s gifts eagerly, unconditionally, knowing that they carry just the right ingredients for the collective soup that is cooking humankind into its full awakening. Commit to listening within, every morning, mid-day, evening. This weaves one’s externalized consciousness into the sacred fabric of the soul, calling it forth.
As the Masters issue the Call, so too, do the students issue the Call urging their own souls to emerge—urging each other to transform—and urging the world to make its leap. Holding hands at the edge of the cliff, millions of souls take the leap together, demonstrating the trust, wonder, excitement of responding to the Call that moves all of humankind to a greater world in consciousness. This is a time of Renaissance of Spirit - where all illusions of negativity, destruction and suffering melt into the waters of Cosmic Love and are overtaken by this burning mandate for liberation. Hear the Call. Respond to the Call. Be the Call. All will KNOW. And all will be served.”

About the Author

Founder of the School of the Golden Discs, Moriah has been a channel for Djwhal Khul since 1986. As a soul mentor, Moriah includes astrology, dream analysis and past life integration in the intuitive work as a mid-wife to the soul alignment process. Moriah has a private practice in Shelburne Falls, MA and specializes in phone sessions.
Click here to visit her site!

Copyright©2006, School of the Golden Discs

Dreams: The Gateway to the Unconscious

I don’t know what I would do without my dreams! They map my inner world, buffering me from the ever-present chaos looming in my unconscious. Through their images I make contact with the myriad of sub-personalities within. Dreams come bearing messages, however obscure, teasing my knowing out into the daylight of waking consciousness. They evoke the detective within me as I hunt for clues in their maze of incongruity and ridiculousness.
These clues, disguised as pointless stories and colliding images capturing only the absurd, nonsensical, random loose ends of my inner life, reveal the psyche’s wisdom as it valiantly pulls out all the stops to get my attention! It knows what is going on with me at deeper levels even if I don’t. My responsibility is to learn how to listen to my psyche and make sense of its unique language. The dream language of images and symbols is both mysterious and obvious. Sometimes our dreams are downright corny as our psyche works to show us the blind spots right under our nose.
It is fascinating how Source created such a complex creature when It created humankind. I have wondered why Source split our psychic structure in two parts—one to be so easily experienced at a conscious level and the other to be forever just out of reach in the deep waters of the unconscious. It seems like “mission impossible” that we have to integrate our unconscious into our consciousness in order to be fully aligned. How can we integrate something that is specifically designed to be unknowable? Why didn’t Source simply allow us to have full conscious reign over the unconscious?
The Tibetan is often referred to among the Great White (Light) Brotherhood (the group of enlightened Masters working with the earth plane) as the Great Psychologist. He and I share a fascination for the workings of the human psyche. He reminds me that if we had full conscious access to the unconscious terrain, our egos would have a field day censoring our inner life. Any “unacceptable” aspects of self that our egos might judge and disown would be cut off from our psychic juice and allowed to wither away. These aspects of self are therefore banished to a distant corner of our psyche (the shadow) where all the “undesirables” are corralled off in order not to contaminate the “righteousness” of the rest of our being.
So our shadow must live, unthreatened by our conscious belief systems, far below our waking knowing in the underbelly of our being. In this world of shadow land our unconscious fosters the growth and development of all aspects of self not yet acceptable to our current identity. If we were to have full exposure to this underworld reality, we might be thrown off balance. No one is eager to claim his or her darkness and wear it like a badge. So we keep it neatly tucked away from the boundaries of our conscious self.
However, as night falls (even our persistent egos need rest) then it is the witching hour. This is the hour when our censors punch out on their time clock as they leave their days work, all defenses checked and working—ego in tact. Then the hobgoblins from the dark shadows within start to shout out - to voice their concerns—to make noise—to move about. Now it is their time for full expression as they bring forth our soul through shadow. If we are “lucky,” we are completely unconscious of this activity. We are simply sleeping the night away, eager to return to morning’s light, unthreatened and secure in our known self.
However, Source gave us one foolproof linkage point between the unconscious and the conscious—our dreams. Upon waking up to the rising sun we bring back with us evidence of our bizarre journey into shadow land. We bring a story, one that usually makes no sense upon initial recall.
If we are willing to lovingly hold that story almost like one would hold a vulnerable alien being in the palm of one’s hand, we can learn to listen to this entity who speaks so strangely to us. The more we listen, the more we begin to understand dream language. While we may often recoil from their messages desperate to write them off as foolish nonsense, if we allow ourselves to digest what we are being shown, we are alchemized. Our conscious self finally embraces the unconscious.
The Tibetan teaches:

“The heart’s capacity to love and accept human nature allows one to receive the full impact of the unconscious material as it pushes up into full awareness. If one can accept one’s shadow, so richly expressed through dreams, one can accept the full human condition and all of the apparent aberrations of Source. As the student lovingly embraces this dark material, he/she realizes that what appears to be a distortion of one’s divinity is actually a poetic, imagaic description of soul material that lands outside the confines of one’s belief system.
‘In this terrain the soul is free to unleash its wildness, uncivilized or untamed by the expectations of the ego—rich in passion—in juice—in life force. Without this realm, conscious life would be a desert, dry and lifeless. It would reflect too much light, blinding the student into the illusion that light is all there is. The deep, dark waters that lubricate and cleanse the soul are essential to the Divine Feminine and must be accepted and embraced. In this embrace, the light and dark unite in mystical harmony”.

Trying to remember dreams is like fishing with one’s hands. Dreams are slippery, wet and illusive. They tease our consciousness as our logical mind tries to capture their stories in recognizable language and story line. Most of our dreams slip away like secret messengers, revealing the impossible line between the world of the awake and the world of the asleep. If we are lucky enough to catch a dream, we must immediately rush to save it in our dream journals, scraps of paper dedicated to honoring these fleeing moments of contacting the unknowable within.
When we wait too long the dream may vanish, leaving us with a vague sensation that we dreamt something but can’t quite put our finger on it. Ironically, if we decide to ignore our dream, the dream often continues to swim along side of our waking consciousness, vague and blurry but annoying us with a distinct feeling that there is something there that needs our attention. It is the same annoying feeling when we stop mid-sentence, having just forgotten our thought. Oh, how we hunger for integration at that point, for just a momentary opportunity to connect the dots within our soul and see the big picture as it is reflected through our underground friends—the characters that live in our dream world.
I first began to take my dreams seriously when I was thirty-nine years old. I was entering my mid-life crisis, deep rumblings beginning to resound in my soul. I had been channeling the Tibetan for three years. This period had been one of light, light and light. When we open our channels we are often infused with heightened light vibrations as we access realms beyond the earth plane. These realms are etheric in nature—lighter, finer, and more rarefied in frequencies. While this is initially experienced as highly pleasing, expanding and uplifting, eventually there may be a counter-reaction in the psyche.
As I was bathing myself in the heightened light factor known as Djwhal Khul, this higher vibratory rate was flushing out dormant shadows in my soul. Consciously I was focusing on spirit, love, compassion and other “spiritually correct” qualities while unconsciously my dark side was beginning to stir with a vengeance! I was able to keep a clean separation between these two worlds for three years. Then my unconscious broke loose. I could no longer resist the internal pressure from my own shadow.
My dreams were filled with dark, frightening images. These images pushed up into my mind screen even when I was only momentarily closing my eyes. I felt barred from the angelic realm as the forces in my underworld caught my soul and began to tug it down, down, down. Night after night I was tormented by fearful images both personal and collective. Several months of nightly terror through a repeating nightmare of being pursued by Nazi’s drove me into Jungian dream analysis. I wanted to get away from these “bad guys” and return to my light-filled “high-level” reality. However, these “bad guys” would not loosen their grip. Now that they had my full attention they weren’t going to let go. I began to wonder what was wrong with me. Was I being possessed by the dark force in retaliation for all the light work I was doing?
Within the first month of dream analysis these nightmares receded. Finally psyche had both my attention and commitment to exploring my shadow lands. I soon realized that it wasn’t the dark force taking over my being but rather my own unique underworld drama trying to participate in my transformational process. Light magnetizes dark. It was time for me to dig into my dream life and bring the hidden aspects of myself into full consciousness. I was amazed at their potency. Within each dream were characters, real beings, who carried strong emotional charges. These characters were highly differentiated, specifically created to carry energies that my soul had cast off earlier in this lifetime or perhaps in past lives.
With my channel opened and higher self accessed it was time to tie in all the old threads, leaving no stone unturned in my efforts toward complete wholeness. Initially I felt embarrassed and exposed by these dark dream beings. They reflected parts of me that my ego refused to accept. I teased myself that perhaps these were someone else’s dreams, surely not mine!
With the encouragement of my analyst I began to claim these aspects of my soul, accepting each character as myself. My curiosity and flair for drama moved me into their reality, wondering what their message or teaching might be. As I embraced each one, they gifted me with heightened energy that had been bottled up in the dark recesses of the basement within my soul. As I allowed the dream characters full expression, I realized that there was nothing wrong with any of them.
I learned to appreciate their divinity as much as I appreciate the divinity within a bouquet of flowers. Allowing my underworld sub personalities to have an impact on me, I saw them as raw gems waiting to be polished. Polishing them with love and acceptance, I began to embrace this bushel basket of jewels within my psyche. Soon I began to hunger for my dreams, eager to see what gifts I could pull up from the rich, dark fertile lands of my unconscious.
So, daily I eagerly awake, dream journal close at hand, hoping each morning I will be given another story revealing the next layer of my soul. Deeper and deeper I go in this quest for soul-knowledge. Working consciously with my dreams creates a feeling of connection and integration. I no longer fear the monsters deep within my psyche. I welcome and celebrate my internal mystery through the stories told by my psyche’s brilliance.
Dreams guide me into the most profound levels of my passion. No longer do I fear being blinded by the light. With my awareness firmly anchored and rooted in the soil of my uncensored self, I am free to stretch out into greater and greater realms of light. Spinning stories of the evolving self and releasing our fears, dreams guide us into our deepest truth. Dreams are the rainbow bridge between the known and the mystery—moving us into the land where soul and spirit become one.

Chapter from Soul Searching with Djwhal Khul, the Tibetan by Moriah Marston
www.transformationaltimes.com
Copyright©2002, School of the Golden Discs

Sensitivity

Are you a “sensitive?” Do people give you a hard time for feeling too much? Is your psyche’s skin molting off to reveal tender little shoots of awareness that acutely grasp every little nuance of reality?
Environmental sensitivity, a relatively new “dis-ease,” is increasing. The body’s delicate system is overburdened by toxins in our habitat and can no longer tolerate the buildup of poisons. This physical challenge mirrors a similar psychological/spiritual experience of heightened sensitivity to all energies. We’re losing our armor, coping mechanisms and ability to accept toxicity on any level. Physical environmental sensitivities pale in comparison to our increasing Cosmic Environmental Sensitivities.
Overtaxed with the task of assimilating and transmuting toxic debris, we’re also overloaded by the impact of the heightened vibrations that are blasting apart all blockages in the soul body. This creates a blizzard of karmic offscourings drenched with more soul toxins than the worst environmental poisons. Our poor little energy bodies are saturated, leaving us exposed and sensitive.
Maybe the Divine Plan wants us to get good and sick of the human distortions that dim our Light. Then, from a place of sheer repulsion, all the past life garbage stored in the soul will be rejected because we have simply become too sensitive to tolerate. When we all agree that sensitivity is a good thing, we can accept the experience of heightened exposure as our collective skin melts away under the cosmic heat of transformation that disallows our density to prevail in the new paradigm.
This mandates our departure from the numb zone. At this cosmic juncture evolution requires us to feel EVERYTHING in order to pick up on and engage with the subtle energies bombarding our world. To become a sensitive means that we are ready to embrace the vast infusion of sensation now filling our physical, emotional, mental and spiritual bodies. Rather than shy away from this voluminous exposure, we must naturalize its impact. To fulfill our responsibility as “torch bearers” for the New Age, we need to sense what is happening on the subtle levels and open in a way that our souls have not yet experienced on the earth plane. In spite of intensifying vulnerability, we’ve all agreed to become skinless in order to collaborate with the unfolding Great Change. Contact with subtle energy realms amplifies as we experience the bleed through from other dimensions at long last. We’re learning to “pick up” on refined gradations of energy through feeling, intuition, body sensation only perceptible through expanded sensitivity. Then latent gifts of clairvoyance, clairaudience, telepathy and psychism will abound as we claim our birthright to really tune in, through increased availability for Cosmic Contact, and ultimately comprehend the underlying Template of Life.

About the Author

Founder of the School of the Golden Discs, Moriah has been a channel for Djwhal Khul since 1986. As a soul mentor, Moriah includes astrology, dream analysis and past life integration in the intuitive work as a mid-wife to the soul alignment process. Moriah has a private practice in Shelburne Falls, MA and specializes in phone sessions.
Click here to visit her site!

Letting Go of Control

“Unfasten your seat belt! Prepare to be flung from your seat!” The Tibetan teasingly offers this remedy for my obsession with control. Yes, I’m a control freak and proud of it! It’s how I manage this insanely chaotic life on a planet that seems to be spinning out of control. There are many steps down the enlightenment path that I am willing to work at, but letting go of control is just pushing things too far. After all, if I’m not in control, who is? When I’m in charge, I know it will get done right.

I’m in awe of people on roller coasters who throw their arms up in the air when the ride takes a sharp turn or steep descent at breathtaking speed. My gut reaction is to white-knuckle the iron bar supposedly holding me in while frantically looking around to catch the operator’s eye so I can get him to stop the ride.

Ironically, the more I attempt to hang onto control, the more it seems to slip through my fingers. My best efforts at precision management of my journey crumble in the face of an increasing wave of chaos pummeling all my ironclad expectations into fragmented dust, revealing the distinct smile of the great cosmic joke. The more I tell myself to ease off and surrender to life’s unfoldment, the more tightly I grip the steering wheel, revealing a level of distrust so far-reaching that I can’t imagine any force-field strong enough to pry my fingers loose from their clenched command

Is this a stubborn refusal to align my personal will with the Divine Will? Or am I smart enough to know that somebody has got to get a grip on this earthly life, and it might as well be me!

As the heightened frequencies impacting our collective consciousness up their voltage, chaos increases. Always ready for a good fight, I struggle with the chaos, determined to be in control of its whimsical attempts to undo my best-laid plans. When the mystery pulls the rug out from under my rigid daily life strategies, I get angry and redouble my efforts to be top-dog in this battle for supremacy.

The more I lament that I should be the conductor in charge of my own symphony, the more the Divine Jester laughs at my obstinacy. My gritty persistence to hang on for dear life lodges itself in my neck and shoulders, tightening those muscles and my upper back into a shield of ego-will determined to have the last stand on the control battlefront. Of course, I always lose. Sooner or later, my body implores me to just let go, relax, and drop my shoulders down several inches, where they belong, instead of having them pretzeled around my neck, poorly armored for ultimate supremacy in my latest showdown with the Divine Plan.

Do we have any control over our lives, or is the concept of free will an illusion? Are we humans innately designed to be impotent control freaks? Is this related to a feeling of being cut off from Source by our very earthly incarnation? Do we grab on so tightly because our fear—of change, chaos, helplessness, overwhelm, disintegration—fuels our efforts to control our environment, relationships, work, vacations…everything?

We attach to a fixed idea in our minds of what is supposed to happen, leaving no room for the mystery. Fiercely clutching these notions, determined to have things work out the way we “know” they should, we unwittingly block the divine surprises waiting in the wings.

Excessive efforts to control our external life often stem from a need to keep ourselves in a box. Vigilantly monitoring the parameters of this self-imposed container, we are afraid of being surprised by whatever destructive, unloving monsters might emerge if we relaxed our surveillance. Assuming that control is the glue that holds us together, we expect to fall apart if we let go. But when we ward off chaos through excessive control, we inadvertently block the Higher Order trying to evolve us to an elevated consciousness.

All control issues spring from expecting the worst. If I let go of control I believe people will be mean to me, I will be abandoned, I will be irresponsible, I won’t be able to function, the chaos will overwhelm my mind and emotions, others will block my process, I won’t like myself, I might lose my marriage, home, work—all evidence of the glue that appears to hold my world together.

Refusing to accept vulnerability with grace, my need for control escalates as I open psychically and feel the innate fragility of life. My false beliefs state that to lose control is to lose dignity, integrity, strength, resulting in defeat, overwhelm, insignificance, weakness. Ironically, control only fosters rigidity, fear, domination, bullying, arrogance, anxiety, tension, contraction, blockage, and the deep inner sorrow that springs from the isolation of not believing we are part of a larger sphere designed to make sure all our needs are met.

How do we surrender control so that we can make the leap of faith into pure trust, permitting ourselves to experience the real stuff that holds/ orchestrates/ unfolds our lives precisely to fulfill our souls’ needs? Like holding our nose, closing our eyes and wildly dashing into a stormy ocean, maybe we need to block out our rational mind (just for a moment) and believe in the best! It is letting go of control that allows the greatest impact on the energetic flow/unfoldment of our lives.

Going beyond control doesn't imply abdicating self-responsibility, however. Those who simply take a back seat, passively witnessing life while they blame God/ Goddess for their difficulties aren’t in collaboration with the Divine Will. We all have the opportunity to exert healthy control—defined as focused intention and creative initiative in spearheading our Higher Self’s mandate for this lifetime. We just need to know when to release the attachment that obsessively energizes our intentions/ desires/ wishes/ dreams. Like blowing in the wind, our intentions are then carried by the stupendous cosmic genius who ultimately fulfills all wishes within the labyrinthine mystery encoded in the torch of our destiny.

What's the difference between making something happen vs. letting it happen? How can we align our personal will with the Divine Will and actively implement our Calling without attempting to control its expression or outcome? When we grip too tightly we contract the cosmic flow and block the creativity underlying our purpose. This feeds the fear that we won’t be able to fully align with our soul’s desires. So we redouble our efforts at control, trying to achieve whatever goal we envision. Does this desperate exertion spring from an illusion of unworthiness that insists we’re not up to the task?

Releasing control, we could relax, laugh, trust and enjoy the cosmic ride of our shared unfoldment. We would realize the illusion of our fears, gratefully accepting the inevitable chaos that invokes necessary change, fertile creativity and divine improvisation.

Chaos informs us of the edge of mystery that surrounds our little island of the known, with its barbed wire boundary of control. Fully accepting our chaotic interface with the Unknowable, we accept the inevitable buffeting-about that propels our evolution, the cosmic disorganization required to leave outgrown attitudes behind. How else would we wrench ourselves out of the karmic straightjackets suffocating our souls for lifetimes? Releasing control clears us to attune to messages, intuition, guidance, signs, timing—all designed to enlist us in a collaborative relationship with the Divine Plan.

We begin to trust our spiritual instincts like the wolf who sniffs the wind, following nature’s vibrations to discover his next meal, mate, cave, or soulful alignment with the moon. Ironically, we humans are the only living beings who block our destiny. When we participate cooperatively, holding the steering wheel lightly through the tumult of life’s challenges, we access extensive spiritual opportunity. Then we bathe in the full power of our Beingness as it magnetizes to us just the right events, people, places required for evolution.

To my inner eye, the Tibetan appears in a chariot driven by eight wild, unrestrained stallions. He sits there calmly, no reins to grasp, with a twinkle in his eye daring me to LET GO AND ENJOY THE RIDE!

“The heightened energies accelerating humankind’s collective learning curve bring amplified chaos. As deeper levels of karmic debris are kicked up for transmutation, students momentarily spin “out of control” while their core is being reorganized at a higher level. This promotes fluidity in self’s essence, facilitating full surrender to the next dimension in consciousness. To accept the chaos within the Higher Order allows students to discern the illusion that they alone control their reality. It is impossible to control a reality based in a predestined matrix established eons ago.

Paradoxically, students can exercise a profound effect on their experience through attitude. Self can control his/her attitude, work to release negativity, but cannot guarantee through control the outcome of any shift in attitude or any other inner work. The more responsibility taken for awakening, the more self realizes how little ego control is possible over one’s process. Yet, through the willingness to take full self-responsibility, the student experiences the transformative impact of right attitude. This yields a potent creative flow that manifests all the desired outcomes self believed required ego-control in order to fulfill. Yes, letting go of control is mandatory for full mastery of the human condition, true collaboration with the Divine Will and deep understanding of the workings of the Divine Plan.

“When students hang on too tightly, determined to control reality, they experience needless suffering. The current mountain of karmic debris dislodged and flowing through students’ energy bodies is challenging enough to assimilate and heal without contracting the process by attempting to orchestrate the timing or type of material surfacing, the quantity of debris, or the outcome. As self relaxes into trust, this soul material can resolve fairly smoothly as it deepens wisdom and lightens self’s karmic load. However, when students try to control this accelerated soul cleansing, their higher channel contracts. Then the material being released chafes against the ego walls of control, creating a “soul rash” prickly with the heat of fear, dread, worry that elongates the process and makes the student miserable.

“The powerful torrent of cosmic forces at this time in human history demands true surrender to the alchemical process of transmuting erupting karmic material. These forces pummel the personal will like a meat tenderizer, making it impossible to hold on to notions of control. This softens the soul body, inducing fluidity, elasticity and expansion.

“Ego control equals contraction. Ironically, it is when the students most need to relax, let go and open in order to ease them through this transitionary initiation that they resort to every control mechanism they’ve ever known—frantically searching for the brakes and steering wheel in a vehicle stripped of such elementary devices.

‘This last-ditch attempt to outwit one’s destiny distracts and exhausts the mind/body, creating lacerations from where the lower mind scrapes up against the genius of the Greater Mind of Source. It’s best to appreciate the inevitable softness/ vulnerability/ lubrication that these pummeling energies produce with true humility. Self is then liberated from the claustrophobia of soul armor, no longer able to maintain the tight grip of control. Students can at long last be unshackled from the illusion that the ego/ personality alone is sitting in the soul’s driver’s seat.

“Humankind need only remember that they are ultimately safe in a universe based in love. When releasing control, reference this innate platform of sanctuary in order to quiet the mind/ego and unwind the solar plexus. Like sitting back to watch a technicolor movie, allow self to relax into the unfoldment of the story—not attempting to control the story but completely present in self’s multileveled response to it.

“From this place of deep acceptance of soul transformation through the human process, students are profoundly impacted by life’s journey. Control defenses melt away, allowing the cosmic forces full penetration to one’s core. Joy mushrooms forth as the student relinquishes the controls, turning them over to a Higher Knowing. The higher mind is emancipated from the steel chains of iron-handed, cramped ego control to creatively respond to the Divine Plan with jubilant input—deeply at peace with the knowledge that a monumentally merciful, compassionate and benign Force exists to shoulder the summons of evolution. Beyond control lies humankind’s birthright and unavoidable destiny—a true JOYRIDE into awakening!”

copyright©2006 EARTH SCHOOL, A Fresh Perspective on the Human Condition

About the Author

Founder of the School of the Golden Discs, Moriah has been a channel for Djwhal Khul since 1986. As a soul mentor, Moriah includes astrology, dream analysis and past life integration in the intuitive work as a mid-wife to the soul alignment process. Moriah has a private practice in Shelburne Falls, MA and specializes in phone sessions.
Click here to visit her site!